Sleep when you get home!

One evening a few friends were getting together for dinner and a movie and I was invited along. On the menu was a traditional Namibian meal of mahangu. Mahangu is a fine millet ground into flour and used to make a thick loaf of porridge. Guests share from a community loaf and with their hands pull off a hunk of mahangu, roll it into a ball, dip it in a flavoring sauce, and then eat. This is a typical Namibian meal because it is inexpensive and a crop easily grown in the dry environment. While, honestly, mahangu must be an acquired taste, this is definitely an experience you would never have in the States.

Cross-cultural experiences will provide countless opportunities for you to try new things. From eating new foods to befriending new people, the adventures are endless. When faced with these opportunities you can either engage them to the fullest, or shy away into your own little comfort zone. But remember what we’ve learned from the past few discussions: the greater the adjustment needed, the greater the tension, and thus the greater the learning opportunity. Based on that equation, I cannot encourage you enough to take full advantage of every new cultural experience you have the opportunity to pursue!

On one of my first trips to Namibia our team developed a catch phrase which still rings in my mind today: Sleep when you get home! Obviously that doesn’t mean spend your entire two week mission trip without a wink of sleep. On the contrary, you need to be rested enough to be alert and involved in all our daily activities. Rather it’s simply a way of saying, ‘Take full advantage of every opportunity afforded you.’ When you return from your trip will you be more satisfied for taking in the beautiful new scenery or for taking a nap on that 3 hour van ride? Will you more regret having that late-night conversation or passing it up to get a little more sleep? The opportunities for relationship and conversation, even with your own team members, could be among the most deep and impactful experiences you have on this trip. This simple phrase just means we’re only there for a few weeks. Don’t miss out on the opportunities right in front of you. You’ll have plenty of time to sleep when you get home.

But after returning from one such trip I came to a startling realization. Even though I was back in America, I still wasn’t home. Paul says “our citizenship is in heaven” (Phil 3:19). Peter calls us “aliens and strangers in the world” (1 Pet 2:11). For me, ‘sleep when you get home’ took on a further, eternal meaning because everyday I will be faced with opportunities to share God’s love and the Gospel of Christ with people around me, but will I be too caught up in my own comfort to take advantage of these opportunities?? When I get to heaven will I more regret the conversations I didn’t have and the missed opportunities to serve and love people, or losing a few extra zzz’s or vacation days? Our culture has come to love its sleep and rest. But we’re only here for a short time so by all means, take advantage of every opportunity! Sleep when you get home!

How a sweatshirt is like a rubber band

In the previous post we observed that cultural differences require us to make adjustments in how we interact with and think about situations. We saw that the adjustments we need to make in any given situation are directly proportionate to the amount of differences involved. The more different a situation is, the more adjustments are required. But that's not the only equation that applies to cross-cultural ministry. Additionally, tension is directly proportionate to adjustment. The greater the adjustment required, the greater the resulting tension. And conversely, if little adjustment is required, then only a small amount of tension may result. Consider a rubber band. In its original state there is no tension and no reason to snap. But as you stretch the band out you increase the tension. The further you stretch it, the greater the tension, until finally the tension becomes too great and it snaps.

This is similar to what happens in cross-cultural situations. As we experience differences in culture and make adjustments, our way of thinking (our paradigm) is being stretched. For example, one afternoon a group of short-term missionaries was playing on a soccer pitch with some children. As the sun went down the temperature began to drop. One team member went to the van to grab her sweatshirt and then realized that none of the children had sweatshirts to put on and it was only getting colder. This experience stretched her thinking in regards to wealth and poverty. It’s one thing to hear about it on the news, but to actually experience it forces you to engage the tension.

Now it is important to remember, tension itself is not a bad thing. If it weren't for tension, how could the rubber band hold anything together? Tension is inevitable in cross-cultural situations, and is in fact part of the reason we engage in cross-cultural ministry. The tension is the indication that we are being stretched beyond our current way of thinking. It opens our minds to new ways of understanding the world. If it weren't for tension there would be no learning. However, too much tension can be a bad thing. It is the job of your team leaders to help you process the tension and make sure it doesn’t become so great that you snap.

As you work through these inevitable experiences there are two potential results. The first, as we have mentioned, is that you learn and grow from it. Allow your mind to be stretch and you will come to a fuller understanding and appreciation for this new culture. The other potential result is frustration and misery. The primary factor in determining which result you will experience is the attitude with which you approach the situation. If you approach your cross-cultural experience with an open mind, a humble attitude and a willingness to learn and adapt to the situations around you, then you will likely experience growth and become enriched through the process. However, if you approach these new experiences with a close-minded arrogance, an attitude of superiority and an unwillingness to change, then you will likely endure a frustrating, aggravating trip. Reflecting on our rubber band analogy, it’s the older, more fragile rubber bands that break. The more flexible ones can undergo great tension without snapping. Thus the second steadfast rule in cross-cultural ministry is: Flexibility, flexibility, flexibility!

In our prior lesson we began to address this attitude by recognizing that different is not necessarily wrong. Now we add to this the willingness to adjust to new situations and try new things. The combination of humility and flexibility will go a long way in helping you have the best cross-cultural experience possible.